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Behavioral Indicators of Sexual Abuse in Children
Child Molestation is an EMERGENCY. With such staggering statistics, and an invisible enemy, many parents are left wondering:
"How can I protect my child"?
The answer is EDUCATION and the COURAGE to apply it!
Educate yourself so you can educate your children.
Knowledge is the key to end the epidemic of child Molestation.
YOUR knowledge is worthless if you don't apply it!
We can build a force to fight child sexual abuse
I got this from a book, that was recommened to me and I wish I had of read it yeas ago, Because as I look back on the past, There were signs that were there that I did not notice and I sit and I CRY and wish , I had not been so blind.
The perpetrators are not always adults. They can be teens or even children.
Behavioral Indicators of Sexual Abuse in Children
1) Being uncomfortable around someone previously trusted
2) Specific knowledge of sexual facts and terminology beyond developmental age
3) Sexualized behavior (excessive masturbation, sexual acting out with other children on a regular basis, seductive toward peers and adults, etc.)
4) Wearing multiple layers of clothing, especially to bed
5) Parentified behavior (pseudo-mature, acts like a small parent)
6) Fear of being alone with men or boys
7) Fear of rest rooms, showers, or baths
8) Constant, unexplained anziety, tension, or fear
9) Frequent tardiness or absence from school, especially if male caretaker writes excuses
10) Attempts to make herself ugly or undesirable (such as poor personal hygiene)
11) Eating disorders (obesity, bulimia, anorexia)
12) Self-conscious behavior, especially regarding body
13) Reluctance to go home after school
14) Abrupt personality changes
15) Child acquires toys or money with no explanation
16) Wetting of bed or clothing after being "broken" of that problem
17) Nightmares on a regular basis or about the same person
18) Change in sleeping habits (tries to stay up late or seems constantly tired)
19) Moodiness, inappropriate crying
20) Unusual need for assurance of love
21) Regressive behavior (fantasies and/or infantile behavior)
22) Uncharacteristic aggressiv e or violent behavior
23) Tendency to seek out or totally avoid adults
24) Inability to relate to peers
25) Running away, especially in a child normally not a behavioral problem
Many of the indicators of sexual abuse in latency-age children are similar to those for adolescents. Children frequently communicate through their actions, especially when they have been warned not to talk about the abuse.
Children should not have to prevent sexual abuse by themselves. That’s our job. We can do much more to protect children than teach them to tell us when someone has acted inappropriately. It is our responsibility as adults to learn, to notice, and to say something when we see behaviors towards children and teens that make them vulnerable or are sexually inappropriate.
STRANGER DANGER QUIZ
STRANGER DANGER QUIZ
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/parentingquizzes/l/bl_strngdngr.htm
Protecting your child from sexual abuse.
http://fatherhood.about.com/cs/fatherhood/a/protect_kids_2.htm
Protecting Your Child from Sexual Abuse
From Wayne Parker,
Your Guide to Fatherhood.
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Specific Suggestions for Safety
One can't help but see news coverage these days about yet another priest, minister, teacher or other authority figure who is involved in child sexual abuse. And continuing allegations about some celebrities (notably Michael Jackson) cause all of us concern. While clearly, these abusers are in the very small minority in their professions, each case has resulted in pain, betrayal, heartache and psychological or physical damage to the victims and their families.
I suspect the father of every victim must wonder what they might have done differently to help protect their children from these horrific experiences. While each case is certainly unique, and the relationship with the perpetrator different, there are some common threads. Following the principles and practices here will certainly not guarantee that a child will not be molested, but they will at least help prepare a child to know when inappropriate things are happening and what to do about it.
"Don't Talk to Strangers" Isn't Enough. For many years, parents have taught their children to avoid strangers. Popular children's videos like "Too Smart for Strangers" have helped reinforce the message. While this is important advice, the truth is that most sexual abusers are already acquainted with their victims. They may be relatives, youth leaders, clergy, teachers, the parent of a friend, etc. Don't ignore the stranger risk–just don't rely on it as the best protection strategy.
Don't make them kiss Uncle Frank. Many of us can remember the uncomfortable instructions we received from our parents to "give Uncle ___ or Aunt ___ a big hug and kiss." Despite the fact that we think we may know this uncle or aunt, sometimes relatives are the secret abusers. Don't force or shame them into affection; let children express affection on their own terms.
Help them know the basics of sex. Certainly the "birds and the bees" discussions are uncomfortable for some dads. There are lots of reasons for that, but children who know the basics are better prepared to deal with sexual issues. Help them understand that no one should touch the "private" parts of their body. We have used the "swimsuit" analogy with our kids: if someone wants to touch you in a place on your body covered by your swimming suit, you have the right and responsibility to say no.
Keep the lines open. Kids need to feel that they can talk to you about anything that is troubling or concerning them. Working to develop strong communication skills with your children in other areas will help them feel comfortable in a very confusing situation for them. Encourage them to ask questions and talk about their experiences in all areas of their lives. Make sure they know that they should report any incident of sexual contact to you immediately, and that they will be respected and loved under any circumstance.
Help them know the law. Teach your children that any kind of sexual advance from and adult is wrong and against the law. This will help them have the confidence to assert themselves against any adult who attempts to abuse them.
More Ideas and Principles
Know the children's friends and family. We and many other parents in our circle make it a practice to never send a child into a home or family environment where we have not been. We have often made the effort to invite a friend and their family to our home for a potluck barbeque or a "games and munchies night" before we let the children play at their home. And always make sure that you know where your children are when they are not home.
Cars are a problem. Research indicates that abuse often happens in a car, or the child is transported in a car prior to the abuse happening. Let your child know that you expect them never to get into a car with anyone without your permission. That will minimize the risk and help them have an out if they are invited to do so.
Self-confidence and awareness are critical. Teach your children that their bodies are their own. They need to know that it is perfectly acceptable to say they do not want a hug or a kiss or that certain physical contacts make them uncomfortable. Help them feel comfortable in saying no to anything that feels "bad" to them.
Help them feel accepted by you. Abusers often choose children as their targets because they are so trusting. Children thrive on approval of the important adults in their lives, and will often be open to engaging in conduct which will bring them that approval. If a child knows he or she is loved unconditionally and is accepted by their father and mother, they will be less likely to be pressured into a sexual situation for acceptance.
Check out the predators in your area. Many states and other governmental entities have now put their sex offenders' registry on line. Check out the listing of online registries at sexoffenders.com to see about the registry in your state. Most can be searched by zip code. Finding out who in your area might have a history as a sexual abuser can help you just be a little more aware of what might be a risk.
Conclusion
Taking a few precautions and creating an environment of trust with your children will go a long way to helping them and protecting them from the effects of child sexual abuse.
Behavioral Indicators of Sexual Abuse in Adolescents
Behavioral Indicators of Sexual Abuse in Adolescents
1) Sexualized behavior (promiscuity, prostitution, sexual abuse of younger children, etc.)
2) Running away, especially in a child normally not a behavioral problem
3) Drug and alcohol abuse
4) Suicidal gestures or attempts
5) Self-mutilation
6) Extreme hositlity toward a parent or caretaker
7) Parentified behavior (pseudo-mature, acts like a small parent)
8) Self-conscious behavior
9) Wearing multiple layers of clothing, especially to bed
10) Eating disorder (usually obesity)
11) Nightmares and other sleeping problems
12) Constant fear or anxiety
13) Delinquent behavior
14) School problems (academic or behavioral)
15) Defiance or compliance to an extreme
16) Friends tend to be older
Professionals and loved ones must calmly listen to children who show signs of sexual abuse. Most of all these children need the safety and security that an atmosphere of quiet encouragement can foster. When children sense that parents or helpers will react negatively to the truth, they will keep their "secrets" to themselves.
If you suspect a member of your family or a friend is being molested, seek help. Professional counselors who specialize in child abuse and staff members at Children's Protective Services Agencies are trained to interview children without causing unnecessary upset. If you notice behavior changes like the ones we've mentioned, don't close your eyes and pretend nothing is wrong. Undoubtedly something is wrong, and you owe it to the suspected victim to find out. Be alert to the indicators of molestation in children, as well as in adults.